2021 has been a year of hard and heartbreaking lessons. For those of you who’ve followed me from the start of my journey into self-publishing, you’re most likely aware of my dad’s stage 4 lung cancer diagnosis back in 2018. He fought for three long years and was in remission for six months.
This past May, my dad collapsed from a seizure while on vacation and was put on steroids to combat the inflammation in his brain. There was no clear cut explanation to why he had a seizure. The scar tissue in his brain from where the cancer had spread was shrinking because of his immunotherapy treatments.
The following weeks my dad’s health took a downward spiral after weeks of manic and strange behavior. My mom took my dad to the ER on June 15th when she noticed his breathing was labored and not normal. His oxygen saturation was at 49% and his lungs were inflamed on the chest x-ray. He was suffering from hypoxia, but the ICU doctors were unsure if the cause was from COVID, pneumonitis, or something else that was causing his pneumonia.
We made the decision as a family to intubate when his condition didn’t improve and he was flown out to Colorado Springs. After testing negative for COVID numerous times, an ICU doctor decided to test my dad for a fungal infection called PCP that only attacks immune-compromised individuals. He tested positive for this fungal infection and we were told 21 days of antibiotics.
He never reached the 21 days.
My dad died on June 28th, 2021, He fought for his life for nine days on the ventilator before his body started to give up and shut down. He died with my mom and I at his side.
To say the past two months have been hard, is an understatement. The past three years of fighting cancer had taken a toll on my dad and it took a toll on my mom and I, too.
I don’t know what the process is going to look like going forward for me, but I know deep down my dad would not want me to fall into depression and give up on my dreams of being an author. I’ve made a promise to myself and to him to keep going forward in life and in this journey of being a self-published author.
With that said, I will be doing a massive edit for all my books that are currently on Amazon over the next two months.
I was in the middle of writing Say I’m Still The Only One when my dad died. For now, I am going to shelve it because it was the last thing I was working on before my dad died and I can’t read the last page of what I wrote without bursting into tears and having an anxiety attack.
A year ago, I had started drafting a series called Color Me and I have decided to focus on this series of of standalone romance books until I can focus on my other writing project.
The first half of Color Me Gray is my comeback and will be published in an amazing anthology called A Woman’s Demons. This amazing group of authors and I are donating 50% of the royalties to a charity. The full book of Color Me Gray will be released on November 30th, 2021.
Thank you all for being so patient and understanding during these hard and turbulent times of grief.